Area 77

It’s getting to be around the time seniors graduate (I’m actually bouncing after summer school), so I thought I’d spread my college senior wisdom to the blank slates that are freshmen. These are golden pieces of information that would usually take four years to develop through experience. In fact, after reading this post you probably won’t need to go to college anyway. But do, because it will make your parents proud.

Many of these tips are based on saving you money, so you can use the extra cash to buy toys and things like I did! I’m even going to throw in some study tips (guaranteed at least a C-). Finally, socializing is another important factor of the whole college experience and I have provided a great way to meet new people!

1. Ordering take out. Always order at least double what you need. Look for great savings in the particular resteraunt and order the family special or the dorm hunger buster. All that left over food will be your breakfast, lunch, and dinner for two days!

2. Text books. 97% of professors and teachers don’t care about the financial situations (or wish lists) of students. So it doesn’t really matter to them that the new edition of the book, which costs a butt load, only has eight new words on pages 34, 291, and 294. BUT, what they don’t tell you is that the libraries of the university have these books ON RESERVE. What does that mean? You can check them out of the library for a limited time (one day loan, four hour loan, etc.)! Read the assigned readings (or photocopy the pages) and return the book! I know, I know, I AM a genius. I bought only one book in the past two years.

3. Legal alien. Most college kids love foreigners (”dude, I met this guy from Scotland and he speaks English!”). So if you’re going to school in a country other than your own, don’t supress your foreign-ity. It will most likely spark up a nice conversation and you probably will end up being friends. When my friends introduce me to people, they say that I’m from Kuwait before they say my name!

4. Safety. Don’t drink. Don’t do drugs. Don’t have sex. If you do choose to do any of those things well the best I can tell you is don’t take a drink from someone unless you’ve seen it being made or opened and then come straight to your hands. If you want to get high, do it legally (glue, nutmeg, etc.). One night stands are a definite no-no.

5. Early graduation. I can’t believe I only thought of this last summer. Most universities allow you four to six courses for a whole summer. That’s like a whole semester! If you take the sumer after your freshman year and the summer after your sophomore year, you can get your four-year degree and graduate by the end of your third year! Your brain might turn to baked beans but so what, you finished early!

6. Skipping class. Don’t do it.

7. Taking notes. A little recording device goes a looooong way. Get one that downloads the clips to your computer. They’re great for when you accidentally take a nap, or if your Nazi professor has a ton of notes on his slides and you can’t keep up what with the stress of copying down the notes as fast as you can and trying to take notes on him explaining his notes!

8. Cramming. It does work for some people. Find out if it does for you as early as possible so that you can sort out your priorities.

9. Laundry. Separate whites from colors? Segregation was wrong in the past and is still wrong today. Save yourself the time: put EVERYTHING together. T-shirts, jeans, underwear, etc. can all go together, just use the warm water cycle (colors cycle). Put them in the dryer together as well. If you have really delicate stuff, like a dress made out of dragonfly wings, take it to the dry cleaners and they can deal with it.

10. Lock your doors. Always always ALWAYS remember to lock your doors. It will probably be the first time you are the king or queen of your castle so YOU, not Daddy, will be responsible for this simple, yet easily forgettable, task. You don’t want to walk in with your TV, George Foreman grill, and custom Snoopy toilet seat lid missing.

If you have a great tip, leave a comment and I might just add it. Help your fellow youngins!

This entry was posted on Tuesday, April 8th, 2008 at 10:57 am and is filed under Campus, Funny, Lists. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.