Second Time, It’s Your Fault
I watched this movie a few days ago on TV and I thought to myself: Of all the movies that Jennifer Lopez has made, why is this one one of the less underated ones? I admit that she isn’t much of an actress, but this performance surely deserved recognition. Even my mother, one of the toughest movie critics I know, liked this movie after I struggled to make her agree to watch it (she HATES Jennifer Lopez). Above everything, the story is amazing. Jennifer Lopez’s character is married to a cheating wife-beater. She puts up with it for a while but then decides to take their daughter and runaway. I don’t want to spoil the movie to those who haven’t seen it, but it’s fascinating how careful and ready she is if he ever happened to track them down.
My mother had always said “The first time it’s his fault. The second time, it’s yours.” And after I watched the movie I understood what she meant. Wife-beaters NEVER change. Even if they go to therapy or support groups, the urge is always lingering close by. Which is why after the first time, it’s your sign to leave.
Unfortunately, we live in a society that doesn’t stress this theory. Women aren’t encouraged to speak up if they’re being wronged. Instead, many, not all, are told to just live with it for the sake of reputation and to not risk a possible divorce. But if this situation comes across me, i’ll leave. No questions asked. But hopefully, it won’t happen! To me or to any other women out there.
April 22nd, 2005 at 3:30 pm
Actually, Kuwait is a society that does NOT condone wife abuse. A wife can report her husband’s abuse to the police and he would be punished. There is a law against wife beating, thank God! The problem is with women.. so many of them take, it over and over, and are so ashamed of it that they mostly don’t even tell their own family and try their best to hide it. Women are often victims by choice, because of many different reasons - not only in being abused but also in countless other issues.
April 22nd, 2005 at 4:02 pm
but i heard some stories where the wife wants to tell, but her parents/siblings tell her not to because of the family’s ’sum3a’. that is what i meant by my comment on kuwait’s society.
April 22nd, 2005 at 5:13 pm
That’s right.. so then the woman is victimized by her own family as well as her abusive spouse. Some women take it quietly and some stand up to their basic human rights no matter what the consequences. Unfortunately, only the minority are willing to stand up and ‘face the music’, and that goes for men as well as for women. Just one quick look at the state of human rights in the world will prove that. As God says in the Quran ‘and man was created weak’ و خلق الإنسان ضعيفا